One Last Chance
by Gardenia1786
Summary: Jessie and Katie's thoughts during the end of GS A
1. Chapter 1

Fic: One Last Chance

Author: Gardenia1786 (Chloe)

Disclaimer: Don't own them, never have, never will. Ya'll know it.

Rating: I don't know... it's the end of G/S A. I didn't add much to it, 'cept a bit at the beginning and at the end. But nothing that would be considered... uh... bad or anything.

Summery: Katie's POV at the end of G/S A. Ya know, the famous kiss scene.

Feedback: Yeah, let me think a/b this for like, one second. YES! If I get enough, I may even continue this series, either do the entire G/S A episode (dealing with J/K, of course) or a sequel for the first week after the kiss. Let me know, and as always, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome coughPLEASEcough

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been getting on me to write again... too many of ya'll to list, but you know who you are!

A/N 2: I don't think this has actually been done before... I've seen some summaries of G/S A, but never in fic format. So here's my sad attempt at describing it.

As always, un-beta'd 

'This is it,' I thought to myself as I pulled up in front of the Manning/Sammler residence. 'The moment of truth.'

"Deep breaths... in... out... in... out... ok." I quickly inhaled and exhaled several times, and was surprised at the fact that I didn't actually end up hyperventilating. "Hmmm... that's a good sign" I said aloud for no particular reason. I looked at the house looming ominously in front of me. I'd been there many times before, but I'd never looked this scary. I guess it was because of the reason why I was here.

"Now or never. Carpi Deum." I kept telling myself. Seize the day. Heck, at this point I'll go for seizing the door handle. And so I did. In one fluid movement I had opened my door and slid out of the seat. As my feet hit the pavement, the anxiety that had been eating at me for the last day or so hit me again. Full force. I had to place my hand on the door of the car to steady myself. I had been trying to mentally prepare myself for what may happen today, the worst case scenario, that kind of thing. Only one way to find out, right?

I closed the door to my car and took a step towards the house 'Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot...' I had to keep telling myself. I decided to try to take a shot at optimistic reasoning for a moment or so. I told myself that maybe she didn't read the letter, maybe Grace was right, and Jessie had been too busy with school and everything with her mom... maybe I'm just totally over reacting.

I'm so screwed.

To hell with that theory. I mean, really. If that were the case, she'd come to me. Why would she tell me that she didn't want me to come with her to visit her mother yesterday, not answer my phone calls, and skip school today. Oh yeah. I forgot. She's sick. Yeah, right. I totally believe that.

Not.

I didn't believe it for a second, and neither did Grace. Jessie had read the letter, and she was totally freaking out about it. I have to find out if there is any way I can fix this.

My mind had taken me away in thought, and when I came back to reality, I found myself standing on the porch in front of the Manning Manor, with a worried looking Eli staring at me.

"You ok, Katie?" He asked. I didn't want to let him in on the fact that I wasn't ok, and the reason that I wasn't had to do with his amazing little sister. So I put on my facade again.

"Uh, yeah. Of course." I answered a bit too brightly. He looked at me quizzically.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Uh, is Jessie here? I really need to talk to her." He stepped aside and I sprinted past him, muttering a thanks somewhere in his general direction.

'Ok Singer, this is it,' I thought to myself as I stood in front of Jessie's door. 'One last chance to turn away, to forget it all. To let it go. Let her go.' I shook my head. 'No. I can't let her go. I have to know.' And with that, I knocked on the door.

It seemed like an eternity before she answered. "Come in" I heard her call from the top of the stairs. I shoved my hands into my pockets before quickly and quietly opened the door and walked up the steps, taking them slowly, one by one. Once I saw her, my eyes never left her face. She looked shocked... she didn't expect me at all. Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were full of confusion. I knew for sure right then that she had read my letter. The look on her face was enough to tell me that, without question.

"Oh, I, umm... thought you were my stepmother." Jessie stated, trying to make up for the shock that radiated from her. By now she was looking at anything but me. It was like she couldn't stand to look at me.

"Well, I'm not. Your brother let me in." I replied as I continued to stare at her awkwardly. She couldn't seem to stand still, she had to be moving... shifting one way or another, alternating shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Oh." Was all she could think to say? There was a silence for a moment or so. I wanted her to say something... anything. But she didn't. I admit, it sort of hurt. I mean, talk about ignoring the elephant in the room. Jessie was so stiff... uptight. She was never like this with me, so reserved... I missed how it used to be, and I regretted writing the letter. The silence had to end, so I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets before speaking.

"Look, I just want my sweater back, then I won't bother you again." I announced. That got Jessie's attention, and she snapped her gaze up to meet mine.

"You're not bothering me." Jessie said sincerely, and I rolled my eyes, not quite believing her. I hoped it was true, but the way she's been acting recently, and her body language... well, you know what they say, actions speak louder than words.

"Fine, can I just have the sweater?" I asked impatiently. She shook her head as if trying to clear it of all thoughts and figure out what to do next. She began to head over to her bed, still sort of shaking her head.

"Sure. It's got to be around here somewhere." Jessie said as she began to rummage through a pile of clothing sitting on her bed. I took that moment to quickly look around the room, look for any sign of the letter. Any sign at all.

I saw it. On the floor. Next to the trash can. Oh.

Arrow...

Right...

Through...

Heart.

The letter that I poured my all my feelings toward her was tossed carelessly on the floor, like it had been aimed at the trash can but missed. That hurt more than anything I've ever faced before.

"Oh look, you missed the trash." I said, indifferently. She turned around and looked at me then at the letter on the floor, before darting around the bed and grabbing the letter off the floor in one fluid moment.

"I wasn't going to throw it away." She claimed. Yes, Jessie, you just happened to have left it lying on the floor right next to the trash can. Sure. Whatever you say. Sarcasm is such a wonderful thing, isn't it?

"Fine, whatever. Can I just have the letter back please?" I pleaded. Her grip on the letter tightened and I felt the tears springing to my eyes. It was all getting to be too much. I couldn't help but begin to cry. It felt like everything that I've grown to know and love was falling down around me, and I was powerless to stop it.

"You want the letter back?" She asked, wide-eyed. I grabbed it out of her hand and began to walk away, because I didn't want her to see me crying right now.

"Look, I've humiliated myself enough as it is." I stated, hoping that would be enough to satisfy her.

"How?" She questioned. She's kidding, right? Please tell me she's kidding. Ok, fine. How should I put this? How can I explain to Jessie that at this point, I don't care if she likes me like that or if she would ever go out with me... all I care right now, is, well, is not loosing her. Because I care so much about her.

"Because... I shouldn't have written all that stuff." I said before sighing and turning around to face Jessie, once I had walked to the other side of the room. The emotion was thick in my voice. I didn't want it to be there, but it was. I couldn't help it.

"It's ok..." She started - tears evident in her voice - but I cut her off. She took a step towards me.

"No! It's obviously not ok since you'll barely even talk to me!" I took a step towards her. I wanted her to know that I really was sorry, and that I'd take anything and everything back in a heart beat if we could go back to being normal again.

"I just want to be friends!" She said, now fully in tears. I can't bare to see her cry, I just wanted to make it all better.

"That's what I want!" I stated, trying to reassure her. I want to touch her shoulder, but I'm afraid of how she'll react to my touch. So I hold back.

"Well, from your letter..." She started again, but I cut her off once more.

"No! Forget the stupid letter. I don't want anything you don't want." By this point, I'm desperate. I don't care. I just want her back. To be able to hug her again. Touch her again. Anything.

"Well, I just want to be friends." Jessie said through her tears. I can understand that.

"Me too." Ok, so that wasn't exactly a lie...

"I've just been really..." She started, not really sure how to finish her sentence and took another step.

"Confused, I know... me too." I interrupted her again as I took another step so that we were standing face to face, with only a foot or so separating us. Jessie figured that I had done enough interrupting, so she took in upon herself to cut me off and start talking.

"Exactly, and I just didn't know what to do... and you're really important to me." Whoa. I didn't quite expect that one. That meant a lot to me. She looked as if the words had tumbled out on their own, and she didn't quite mean to say them aloud. I looked at my feet then back up at her. She was serious. Dead serious.

"I am?" I asked, not sure if she had meant to say that or not.

"Yes! Don't you know that?" She asked, her eyes wide, brimming with tears. I think it hit her right then that I didn't really know that I was so important to her. I mean, by this point, we both know what she means to me... but, come to think of it, she has never really ever told me how important I am to her.

"Because you are so important to me." I mean that too, for she is very important to me. So important, in fact, that I'd rather just be her friend then be nothing to her at all.

"So can we just be friends? I mean, am I still your friend?" She begged, a scared expression etched on her beautiful features. Relief. That's probably one of the only words that could describe what I was feeling then. I smiled and pulled her into a bear hug.

"Yes, of course! Oh my god." I stated, my the excitement and relief evident in my voice. I hugged her tight while still clutching the letter in my right hand, and I closed my eyes. "Of course you're still my friend."

"So just throw the stupid letter out, ok?" I imploringly whispered. I felt her body stiffen as she relaxed her hold on me and pulled back so she could look me in the eye. When Jessie pulled back she looked... different from how she normally looks. I mean, normally, she looks beautiful, but right now... she looked a bit shocked. Like she wondered how I could ever ask her to do such a thing. Throw the letter away?

"I can't. I can't throw it away... I want to keep it forever." She said with so much sincerity my heart leapt. Then her eyes shifted back and forth, and a look came across her features that I'd never seen before. Like she was trying to make a decision, but she was powerless against it. Like she had no choice in the matter... that what was going to happen would happen. Like... it was fate or something.

She leaned up and kissed me. It wasn't long, it was more of a brush of lips. Soft and gentle, like she was, full of love. When she pulled back, she looked almost confused. Her eyes were wide with shock a second time in less than five minutes, and she looked at me differently. She blinked a few times before finding her voice.

"Oh my god..." she breathed, still staring up at me.

"What?" I asked, fully knowing what she was thinking.

"I just... um..." I don't know if she couldn't finish her sentence, or if she thought she was stating the obvious. 'kissed you.' was what she was thinking. I could tell. Her face changed... she was searching for words, it seemed like they'd all left her for the time being. Her eyes fluttered open and shut for a moment.

"I know." I said, barely audible. At once she looked as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she smiled. All the pieces of the puzzle were now put together... everything fit, and the picture that I saw almost all along, was now obvious to her. We were meant to be together.

She exhaled before leaning up and kissing me again. I expected it this time, and met her half way. The feeling was wonderful, like flying or something. It was something new and exhilarating... something that I knew that I would NEVER get tired of. Ever. When we pulled back, she had the same look in her eyes, yet it was slightly different. A look of love, of adoration maybe? No matter, it was a wonderful look. I leaned my forehead against hers, and smiled at her. She smiled back, with that ever-so-cute smile, and again, my heart melted.

I reached down and took her hand in mine, massaging it slowly. Soft. Gentle. Beautiful. Like her. Warm skin... sent shivers up and down my spine. Any time I had touched Jessie before, I always felt something, but this time it was real. Like fireworks going off inside my head. It felt so good.

We stood like that for a few moments, just looking and smiling at each other. It's like she looked at me in a whole new light... differently. And it was good. I wanted to kiss her again, but I was afraid at how fast everything would be moving... and she was still not quite used to this idea... so I figured I'd take it slow. After all, I've waited this long, I don't want to ruin it yet. I cleared my throat... I had to break the silence.

"Ehem... so... do you want to do something tomorrow night... hang out... watch a movie...er... anything?" I asked, sort of nervously. Her smile grew. I didn't think it was possible, but it did.

"Yes! Of course!" She answered. She squeezed my hand, and pulled me over to the foot of her bed, where she motioned to sit down and lean against the bed. I began to sit, but she caught me and quickly pecked me on the lips. Then my smile grew. This was everything I hoped for... and more.

She sat down on the floor facing me, leaning against the foot of her bed, just starring at me with so much love and adoration... it kind of made me uncomfortable. Not in a bad way... just... I don't know how to explain it. Her gaze was so intense that I had trouble keeping eye contact. I half smiled at her, as I shifted how I was sitting. Right then, someone knocked on the door, causing both of us to jump to our feet and look as if nothing had happened at all.

"Who is it?" She called out. I had to smile... she'd learned not to just say 'come in' anymore.

"It's Grace, can I come up?" Came the reply.

"Uhh... sure." Jessie called back, walking around the room with her hands shoved deep in her pockets. I heard the door open and the steps creak as Grace climbed them. When she turned around she had a huge smile on her face.

"Oh, sorry." She said when she saw me.

"No problem" I returned. There was an awkward pause before Jessie spoke up.

"She was just bringing me some homework." She turned to me "So... thanks." She smiled once more, and I took my cue to leave.

"Any time!" I grabbed the sweater and walked past Grace "See you Grace!" And with that, I floated down the stairs and out to my car. This was definitely a good thing... but where would it go? How long would it last? Those were questions that I didn't know the answer to. But I was ok with that. Because now I felt like I could face anything and everything. Because I now knew that Jessie felt the same way about me as I felt about her. That now she would be at my side.

All I have to say is, there is now a grin permanently etched on my face. _Because Jessie was mine_. 

I often look back at this moment that changed both of our lives, and wonder what would have happened if I hadn't written that letter, or I had turned away when I was at her door, debating about going in.

But I'm glad I didn't freak and run. I'm glad I gave it one last chance. Because if I hadn't... if I'd turned around, chickened out, then I wouldn't have ended up dating one of the most amazing people in the entire world. And if I had to do it again, I would do it the same way. Our relationship was... is amazing. grin You want to know how much so? Well, you could ask our children…

The End... of this one. Feedback on what comes next please!


	2. Chapter 2

Fic: One Last Chance counterpart

Author: Eh, you can figure that one out on your own. I think 1 or 2 of you may remember me.

Rating: PG. Maybe.

Summery: Jessie's POV during the attic scene. Sorta matches with the one I did a bit over a year ago. Hence the reason this is called the counterpart. I think someone requested it a long time ago. Oh well. The other part is up on the j/k website if you wanna see it. Still on the front page, I believe.

Feedback: Yeah, it'd be nice.

_'The truth is, Jessie, I think I'm falling in love with you.'_ I can't stop reading that sentence. It's haunting me... all day today, all day yesterday...I can't stop thinking about it. It scares me. Though I still can't figure out what is scarier... the fact that she feels this way about me, or the fact that I may feel this way about her.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I pace back and forth across the attic floor. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. Really. I'm not _supposed_ to fall in love with a girl. She isn't _supposed_ to fall in love with me. No. I don't _want_ to be different. I've spent too much of my life already being different. I'm _supposed _to be an average American girl and fall in love with a guy, marry him, and have 2.5 kids… or however many kids it is these days. That's what I'm _supposed _to do.

Then why don't I really want to? Why is Katie the only thing I can think about right now? Why has she been the only thing I could think about for the last few weeks? Why can't I think about Tad? Why can't I like him? Why does it have to be Katie, a _girl_?

There is just something about her. Something that captivates me. Her eyes, I think. She has such beautiful eyes... NO! I'm not allowed to think that about my best friend!

Grace was right, Katie is gay. And I didn't quite believe her. Not until the Gay/Straight alliance meeting the other night. I couldn't believe she showed up. But she did.

Why me? Why can't I stop thinking about Katie?

_'The truth is, Jessie, I think I'm falling in love with you.'_ Auto pilot... can't stop thinking about it. '..._in love with you... in love with you... in love with you...'_ STOP IT!!!

_'I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. _NO! I want my best friend. Not the girl of my dreams. There is no such thing as the girl of my dreams. Really, there isn't.

But if there was…Katie would _so_ be it.

BUT THERE ISN'T!!

I'm not in love with anyone. At all. Not Tad. Not Katie. Not anyone.

And that's final.

Have you ever noticed how Katie's hair blows in the wind, and the adorable way she babbles on and on?

STOP THINKING ABOUT KATIE!

Just breathe.

Not working.

_'I think I'm falling in love with you.'_ You may not be the only one...

No! Just friends. That's all I want to be. That's all I can afford to be. Friends. Best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I love her... as a friend. And that's all.

I need to sit down. I'm so glad I have this comfy chair up here...

I picked up the letter next to me again and scanned it with my eyes for the hundredth time today. _'Love, Katie'. _Only the way she signed it, it was more like: _'Love, KaTie.'_ She always signed her name like that, with a capital 'T' in the middle. On her homework, on notes, everything. It made her stand out all the more... not like she needed that to make her stand out. It was just another piece of her strange (but lovable) personality.

At that exact moment I was brutally ripped out of my thoughts by a knock on my door. The only thing I could think about was making sure that no one saw me with the letter in my hands. So I quickly dropped it on the floor beside the chair and stood up... trying to look like I wasn't really doing anything.

It's probably Lily, I reasoned, she was getting some cough medicine for me, because I'm 'sick'.

"Come in!" I yell, while still making it look like I'm doing something... er... anything.

But nothing really could have prepared me for who walked up the steps. The first step creaked. I expected it to be dark brown hair that I would see above the railing coming up the stairs. But it wasn't. It was...

Katie.

Oh.

This so cannot be happening. I've been trying to avoid her all day... I'm afraid of seeing her... of what I'll do or say. But it really isn't fair to her. Maybe if we just don't talk about it, things can go back to normal.

"Oh, I, umm... thought you were my stepmother." I said, mentally kicking myself for that one. Really bright on my part. Good one, Jess. I could tell that she wasn't particularly happy with that answer... it hurt her, I think.

"Well, I'm not. Your brother let me in." She stated, somewhat coldly. I wanted this to end... I don't like the stiffness between us. I wanted to go over and wrap my arms around her, make it all better... but I couldn't. I was afraid to... afraid of what I'd feel towards her.

"Oh." Was all I could think to say. There was an awkward pause, and I wracked my brain for something to talk about, but all I could think about was the letter, and I didn't really want to talk about it right now.

She shifted her hands in her pockets before speaking.

"Look, I just want my sweater back, then I won't bother you again." Katie stated. I had to keep my mouth from dropping open. Her? Bothering me? If anything it was the other way around. She could never in a million years bother me. Never ever ever.

"You're not bothering me." I had to tell her... I didn't want to loose her as a friend. Please, don't go.

"Fine, can I just have the sweater?" She asked, while tapping her foot on the wooden floor, causing the sound to echo around in my head. I couldn't deny her, so I began to walk around my bed and go through the messy pile of clothes sitting there.

"Sure. It's got to be around here somewhere." I shook my head a few times... I had to think of something to say. Some way to make things go back to the way they were, the way I wanted them to be. The way they were when they were simple. I just wanted things to be simple again... no more of this complicated stuff... I can't deal with that. I've never been able to deal with that.

"Oh look, you missed the trash." was what brought me to a startling halt. I turned my head to stare at Katie, and she was looking at the spot on the floor where I had dropped the letter when she had knocked on the door. Oh crap.

I was on a mission now. I needed that letter. So I quickly moved around the bend and stooped down to take the letter in my hand, all the while Katie just stood there and watched me. I could see from the look in her eyes that she wanted that letter back as badly as I needed to keep it.

I needed to convince her that I wasn't going to throw it away, that I really wanted to keep it. That it meant so much to me… but I don't… know… why. Could it be… that I'm… falling…?

"I wasn't going to throw it away." I cried to her. She kind of looked away and rolled her eyes. I could tell she definitely didn't believe me.

"Fine, whatever. Can I just have the letter back please?" NO! YOU CANNOT HAVE THE LETTER BACK! I gripped the letter even tighter in my hands.

"You want the letter back?" I asked. I mean, I knew she did... but I didn't figure she'd ask. I mean, really.

"Look, I've humiliated myself enough as it is." She said as she quickly ripped the letter out of my hands before turning around and beginning to walk away. For a moment, I thought she was going to break for the stairs and run away, but my fears were released when I heard the tears in her voice. She was crying. Katie Singer was crying, and it was my fault.

"How?" I asked. I want to make it better; I want to make Katie stop crying. I can't bare to hear her cry, and know it was my fault. 'Katie, please talk to me.' I pleaded silently.

"Because... I shouldn't have written all that stuff." She answered, while turning around to face me. A million thoughts were going through my head. 'But I like the fact that you wrote all that stuff to me... I kind of like the fact that you love me. What am I saying? Not more than a few minutes ago, I was convincing myself that I was anything _**but**_ in love with her...'

"It's ok…" I started to say, while beginning to cry and taking a step towards her... I wanted to tell her it was alright, that we could ignore it, go back to the way we were before... assure her that we could be friends again, but she cut me off.

"No! It's obviously not ok since you'll barely even talk to me!" I wracked my brain to figure out what all to say... to express what I was feeling. That I was confused and wanted to be her friend right now.

"I just want to be friends!" I stated, almost shouting. I was completely in tears by this point, I couldn't help it.

"That's what I want!" She took my by surprise... I didn't know what to think... I mean...

"Well, from your letter..." I was going to tell her how her letter indicated that she wanted to be much more than friends and that she loved me, but she interrupted me before I could finish.

"No! Forget the stupid letter. I don't want anything you don't want." She said, her voice breaking... almost getting desperate. I sort of turned my head to the side, and looked at her through my teary eyes.

"Well, I just want to be friends." I was sounding whiney by this point, but I didn't care… there was just something about Katie, and the fear… possibility of loosing her.

"Me too." I could see her grasping the letter tighter in her hands, and the tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to poor over the brim any moment. She took a step towards me before continuing. "I've just been really..." I cut her off.

"Confused, I know... me too." I wanted her to know… know what? I mimicked her and took a step towards her,

"Exactly, and I just didn't know what to do... and you're really important to me." My mind at this point was working on a meaningful reply to whatever she was going to say when her last 5 words caught me off guard. I was important to her? I mean, I figured she must like me a bit, after she befriended me and the letter she wrote me… but that didn't necessarily mean I was important to her.

"I am?" I asked, making sure I wasn't hearing things. I wanted this to be true. God, did I want this to be true. Statistics and normalcy be damned. I give up. I want her.

"Yes! Don't you know that?" She started to smile a bit, for the first time since she climbed those stairs into my room.

"Because you are so important to me." I needed her to know this one small thing. I needed her to know she was still important to me… she was still the world to me. After this realization, panic rushed into me, which prompted my next question:

"So can we just be friends? I mean, am I still your friend?" Katie's faced lit up at this and she smiled, a full fledged grin.

"Yes, of course! Oh my god." She hugged me closed the distance between us. She had to bend over, she was that much taller than me. And I do have to admit, I liked the way her long arms felt around me, the way they enveloped me. We stood there hugging for a few moments… not saying anything, just enjoying each other's presence. I closed my eyes and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"So just throw the stupid letter out, ok?" She whispered, and my eyes flew open. Throw out the letter? Was she crazy?!?

"I can't. I can't throw it away... I want to keep it forever." I pulled back, out of the hug. I had to look into her eyes. Her beautiful, mossy green eyes.

Then I, Jessica Elizabeth Sammler, did the most daring thing I'd ever done in my 14 years of life on this earth. I kissed her. I kissed someone for the first time in my life, and it was a girl. Not just any girl, it was Kathryn Anne Singer. She was one of the most beautiful and most popular girls in my school. She was my best friend. And the girl of my dreams.

It was a short kiss, some would say too short. But for me, it was just right. We pulled back and just looked at each other. Shock, I'm sure, was written across my face.

"Oh my god" I said, my eyes wide.

"What?"

"I… I just…" I tried to speak, I tried to say something, but words were just not adequate to express how I felt in that moment. But Katie, good ol' Katie knew. She knew exactly what I was trying to say.

"I know." She whispered, barely audible. And I knew she did know. Because she knew me, knew everything about me. I smiled, partly to myself, and partly for her. I was relaxed, at ease. The way I normally was around Katie. And I think I could get used to this.

So I kissed her again. A little longer this time. She anticipated my actions and met me half way down, so I didn't really have to reach up as far and stand on my tiptoes.

Words do not describe what it feels like to kiss Katie. 'Fireworks' is a good start, maybe even the 4th of July in DC, but somehow, I don't even think that matches up with it.

We pull back again, and both smile at each other. I leaned my forehead against hers, and we Eskimo kiss.

Yes, I definitely think I could get used to this.

The end.


End file.
